A little bit of the back story on why I am writing this story. Just a few days ago several of my closest friends graduated from their university. After four years, they are now entering the real world with their bachelor’s degrees in their pockets. Not literally in their pockets, but.. you know what I mean. Oh, for the record, we all studied the exact same subject at the exact same university. Yet, I began my journey a few years earlier.
I was honoured to be invited for their graduation ceremony. And as a photographer, I brought my camera to take their pictures during the event. It was great to see them all happy, all smiling, all excited… Remembering my very own graduation ceremony, I had those whom I hold dearest to my heart attend the event. Fast-forward four years, I was able to be there for them like my family was there for me.
The thing is, as I sat there in the audience, watching my friends enjoy their ceremony, I got a gentle reminder that it is their moment. There are people in this world who feel they should receive credit or even a standing ovation for other people their achievements which they themselves have (even if it is in the slightest) contributed to.
Now, you might know that this is their ego talking. It is their desire to feel important. And I strongly believe that this is an obstacle that everyone will need to learn to overcome at some point in life. Not only is it the opposite of an important social value, it also has the potential to be highly self-destructive. The latter due to the disbelief that the world does not revolve around them, leading to a figurative blow to their self-worth. Like a sucker punch to the gut.. but a more mental and emotional one…
See, when we were all still very young, growing up, and discovering the world we live in, we had our moments of desire. These desires were quickly satisfied by our parents, guardians, or simply a good Samaritan. Sure, who doesn’t want the little one to stop crying or throwing a tantrum. I know I want it. Especially during my hours of flights when the seats aren’t the most comfortable to get some quality sleep. However, in their defence, they could not know any better. Communication was already a struggle. And when you don’t know the social mechanics, the human tricks of the trade if you will, a display of emotion is one of your only options in your communication arsenal.
One does not get born with the skills to ask for a bloody biscuit in Queen’s English whilst sipping milk from a plastic baby bottle. So, people get creative. With all the attention that we receive, we start to feel special.. we start to feel important. We feel like all that matters is ourselves. Now, would you consider this an egoistic trait? Arguably yes. Yet, as we grow up, we brought along with us all the knowledge we acquired over time.
Not only our childhood experiences are the cause for our egoistic thinking. Present-day conditions enhance our self-absorbed behaviour. With technological advancements allowing near-instant access to information, and social media becoming platforms for attention and instant-gratification, people have found a way to create a world that revolves around them (their personal account) with attention-givers (followers and other social media users). Even next-day delivery services from online purchases allow for a feeling of importance and instant-gratification.
After reviewing my earlier paragraphs, I do seem to put a bad reputation on egoism. From my perspective, egoism is not wrong per se. Whether we deem something good or bad depends on the extent to which we apply this concept to our lives. The more one thinks in the first-person: “I want.. I need.. I have…” the more they view the world revolving around them. Once they start introducing a third-person perspective to their thinking, the more they develop hedonism and altruism to their own experience of the social construct.
A dear friend of mine once shared with me that in order to make it about them, it first needs to be about us. There is a truth in this, as the normal human mind does not wake up thinking that we ourselves do not matter. Therefore, to make it about them, means that we go through a mental process of deciding not to make it about us. In this case, we make it egoistic to transcend ourselves into developing hedonistic and altruistic characteristics.
Coming back to the graduation ceremony.. when the auditorium was empty, and the only thing that took the centre stage was the well-lit podium (see what I did there?), we took this window of opportunity to take some great photos. You could really tell who this day was about based on the iconic graduation hats people had on their heads. As I mentioned earlier in this story, you could see them all happy, all smiling, all excited. It was them.. the others.. people whom I am grateful to call ‘friends’.
This story is not about me. This story is about them.. and it always has been. They completed a significant part of their lives that day. They closed their chapter, and flipped the page to write the start of their next one.
To close things off.. for those of you who are reading this story and know whom I talk about, know that I am proud of how far you have come and how much you have grown. Celebrate your achievement. This was all you.